I am a walking contradiction. Of course I am-- I'm a woman! I'm an anti-elitist who appreciates prestige. I don't judge people-- unless they judge people; then I automatically hate them. I'm a rabid saver who loves to spend money. I'm a lazy couch potato who enjoys exercising. I'm a morning person who loves to sleep in. I'm a laid-back chick who gets easily riled up. I'm indifferent yet passionate. I'm highly intelligent and stubbornly provincial. Most of all, I'm a sweet girl who is a complete bitch.
The other day, I noticed my husband's facebook status message was a song lyric we have been listening to lately. I smiled. It was cute. Since I am in the habit of using my favorite song lyrics as status messages, I thought of it as something of a compliment that he did the same. But, a friend of ours "made a comment" to his status. She wrote, "um... been there done that and still addicted!". Now I know it's not a big deal, but I found it kind of obnoxious. I know that she really likes this artist. His new album came out a few weeks ago and she had (in commenting to a status/song lyric I had posted a while ago) asked me if I got it yet. I said, 'no, how is it?'. She said, 'Pretty good." I said, 'Cool.' My husband and I have been listening to this artist for years. I know she's been into him lately. Maybe for as long as we have. Whatever. It's not a contest. I hate music-snobbery. Which is why I hated her status message so much. I know, in a sense, she was trying to say, 'I love that song too'. But what she was really saying was, 'Oh yeah, I totally know that song and have loved it for a long time.' (For the whole three weeks since the album's been out.) And what is up with that "um" in the beginning of the sentence? So I know I'm reading very deeply into this and getting carried away. I have realized lately that when people make snide remarks to me, I'm not necessarily but more likely willing to let it roll off my back. Behave that way with someone I'm close to, let alone my husband, and you better watch the f*ck out.
So I added an additional comment, under hers, that said "I know that song too! Look at me!" (If you are reading this and you are friends with my husband on facebook, you can see it for yourself.) What I was trying to do was point out how ridiculous people look when they desperately want to show others that they're in the know about something, like she was doing. I realize it was a tad bitchy of me. I even feel a little bad about it. But not that bad. One of my attributes- for better or for worse- is an overdeveloped sense of justice. I think being not-nice is a good response to someone who was not-nice to you. Or someone you care about.
The thing about being nice is-- if you are nice to everyone, then being nice kind of loses its meaning. I'm not saying that you should punch someone in the face if you don't like their outfit. Generally, people should be kind and friendly to everyone they encounter. I often subscribe to the "turn the other cheek" mentality, because, you know, who cares. It's usually not worth it if someone is a rude a**hole. But if you are extra, out-of-your-way nice to someone who wasn't that nice to you, it's devaluing the instances you were nice to people who cared enough to specifically show you kindness. Being nice-- appropriately- is also a way of showing loyalty to those who deserve it.
Another problem I have is that I think I am very funny. So if I have the chance to zing someone, and they deserve it, it is especially hard for me not to. Which is again, ironic, because I HATE HATE HATE when people make jokes at someone else's expense just to get a laugh. I think it is pathetic and repugnant. But it's okay when I do it, because I only do it when the target is otherwise a douche-bag. Do you have a problem with that, you judgmental prick?! I kid, I kid. I have enough self-awareness to know how convenient it is that I am the one who gets to decide who deserves ridicule and who doesn't. But you can judge a person by her actions, and I stand by mine most of the time. If you know me, you probably do like me. If you don't know me, you probably would.
Later that day, the girl from facebook's status message said, "So-and-so wants to SCREAM!!!" I have no idea if it had anything to do with me and what I said. But just the possibility of that being the reason she is distressed made me want to throw up. I know none of this is a big deal, but I felt terrible. I guess the joke's on me.
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