In light of a wonderful GM dysfunctional family Thanksgiving, I thought I would take a page from Oprah, gratitude journal-style circa 1998, and let you all know what I’m thankful for this year. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you all give a flying rat’s….
Girl Fairway. Okay, I will always have to start with this one. I’m sure this will drive lots of people batty, but first on the list this year has got to be the dog. I’ve had to contain myself from writing about her every week so far (good job GM!), but I can’t take it any more. For those of you out there who think you have a great dog, well good for you, but your poochie’s got nothing on Girl Fairway. The love of my life is a 3 year-old (3 already, wow! Well, not quite 3. She shares a birthday with the Reverend Doctor, so she’s got a month+ to go) golden, lab, chow, akita mix. If you’re into mixes, this is the Cosmopolitan of dogs. The Cactus Cantina Margarita of dogs. The Dom and OJ, fresh-squeezed, organic, and FedExed-overnight from Florida, of dogs. She doesn’t bark, she doesn’t bite, she doesn’t chew (except for G’s coffee table and GM BFF’s Mac cord, but chalk those indiscretions up to puppy-hood. She had to pretend she wasn’t perfect), doesn’t need a leash, and she doesn’t jump up on the furniture unless given permission. Even then she acts like it just doesn’t feel right. Final Thankful Conclusion: GirlFairway is the Best Dog Ever.
The Final Production of the Girl Monday High School Drama Department. I live a drama-free life, but it hasn’t always been this way. Over the last year I’ve been involved in enough dramatic productions to fund an entire college theatre department. For the next six years. Let me start by saying I HATE DRAMA. I like to think I moved past that when I moved out of middle school. I really don’t need any more people in my life who don’t have their shit together, and I really don’t need anyone in my life who has the emotional maturity of an eight-year old. Sorry sexy stud that I dated last year, the bitch fits you would throw because I didn’t call you back immediately and the accusations you laid on me because you were always thinking I wanted to stop seeing you and the questions you always had for me when I went out to lunch with male coworkers or to the eye doctor (the eye doctor?! He’s like 40!) – all of those things led to your demise. See ya. I am now drama-free! Final Thankful Conclusion: Trust your instincts. If it smells like shit, no matter how nice, cute, and funny it is, it’s probably shit.
Family. I’ve written about them before so there’s not much else I can add, and it’s probably too late to make them sound functional (i.e., lie), so I’ll just say I’m thankful for every single dadblame (who says this anymore?! Me I guess) one of them. Especially the ones of them that did not grace my Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday night. Thank you, thank you, thank you! At close to 400 pounds we used to be able to entice you to join us based on the mere presence of food alone, but since you’ve grown up (i.e., become eligible to be tried as an adult), you only come for holidays that involve cash. And for this we are all grateful (mainly because you would have a starring role in the GM HS DD’s winter production of Les Miserables, but in reality there are many reasons). Final Thankful Conclusion: Love them or love avoiding them, they still share my DNA. Just don’t tell anyone……
Dookie Love. I am lucky enough to have found many great loves in my life (and re-found a few here and there along the way) including Krispy Kremes, Starbucks, the Vols, GirlFairway (ooops, did I mention her again?),ice cream, soccer, and shoes. But that crap isn’t important at all. I can walk away from the shoes. I can, really. All love isn’t romantic (and some of the greatest love isn’t), and I have some of the best friends a GM could ask for and most of them I found in grad. school (I did not, simultaneously, find a love for Duke basketball or free ipods, if you’re wondering). This last year has brought many opportunities for Dookie love: the marriage of two people we enjoyed watching fall in love and whom we all believe will be together forever and the intense tragedy surrounding the death of one of my favorite people’s favorite person. This last year has also made me thankful for second chances, as I have enjoyed reconnecting with several friends who had almost slipped out of my life. I cannot live without any of my Dookies. Except maybe Kempe (nothing says nasty like a breast-feeding swinger) or Marissa….. Or Kim……….. Final Thankful Conclusion: If you can’t be with the ones you love, write letters, make phone calls, text, buy last-minute plane tickets, and dump the ones you’re with.
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GM- You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day.
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