Ten Year Plan

It is fitting that Girl Friday chose money as this week’s topic—I actually received the email informing us of her selection shortly after concluding my first meeting with our financial planner. We were introduced to him through a mutual friend, and chose to schedule an appointment so that we could begin our marriage on a strong financial footing. My father is fond of telling me that money troubles are one of the leading causes of divorce. Whether it be the failure to communicate about money or the inability to align financial goals, many couples allegedly have difficulty working towards a unified financial future.

The future Mr. Tuesday and I have always prided ourselves on our ability to communicate. Even when emotions get the best of us (or me) and I flare up irrationally, we always make it a point to calm down and discuss our frustrations in a civilized manner. So it seemed appropriate that we, wanting to avoid the communication difficulties that befall some couples, sit down and chat with someone who earns a living counseling folks such as ourselves about wise decision-making.

After a few weeks of back and forth to schedule a meeting that would work with three full schedules, we confirmed a time and location and were ready to meet. He told us that all we needed to bring with us was knowledge of the balances in our respective savings, checkings, and retirement accounts, as well as any additional investments we might already have. Further, we should consult our respective employer’s benefits plans to understand life insurance, retirement, and long-term disability coverage available. We did all that; we were prepared.

But then came the questions. Picture yourself ten years from now. How do you envision your finances? What job do you hold? Where are you living? Do you have children? What are you saving for?

We fell silent.

After a pause that probably felt much longer than it was, I chimed in—“we’ll certainly own a home by then. And likely have our first child, if not have another on the way.” There, I’d come up with a respectable answer.

“And your job?” He asked. “Where will you be working? Are you figuring you’ll be making Partner about that time, as well?”

Partner? Really? I need to decide that NOW?

“I don’t know. It’s difficult to say having just started at the firm. It is too early to determine whether I can really envision myself staying in the private sector. I mean, I would like to go into the Government when the time is right. If such an opportunity presents itself before the ten year point, I might consider it.”

I received a knowing nod in response, and sat in quiet introspection as the future Mr. Tuesday explained that he wasn’t certain where he was headed. He didn’t plan to build a future at his current job necessarily. “I’d like to go back to school at some point, but I really don’t want to go until I have a better sense of what I want to DO,” he explained.

More nodding.

“What about your spending habits? What kind of lifestyle do the two of you envision living for yourselves?”

More silence.

“Well, honestly, that’s something we need to work on. We know that we want to start saving to buy a home, but we’ve been dealing with a lot of extra wedding-related expenses so far this year, and really aren’t certain what a ‘normal’ cash flow is for each of us.” There, that was an educated sounding way of saying I don’t have a clue.

“Well, you realize that saving has to be the first impulse. You have to save first and allow yourself to spend only after putting aside money. That’s the only way you can really do it.” He seemed so wise and all-knowing; but what he was really doing was stating the obvious.

We felt like children, really. It’s no wonder that money breaks people apart. While it is easy to think that it is “just money,” there is a real truth to the fact that as you look forward into adult hood, everything you do is shaped by money in some form or fashion. A job becomes more than what you do from 9 to 5; or from 8 to 7, such as the case may be. The job brings the paycheck, and the paycheck is the gateway to home ownership or higher education or a fast sports car. I don’t mean to imply that money is everything; but the plans that we make, the priorities that we set for ourselves, are not possible without the financial foundation to back it up. The blood in our veins may be what keeps us alive, but the cash flowing through our bank account is what keeps us moving forward toward the ten year point. It brings a whole new layer of meaning to the saying two hearts beating as one.