Yes, E became angry with M. And they fought. And they resolved it, sort of. And then they drifted. And to this day they don't speak.
But even so, the courtship of Evan and M began pretty swiftly. It was like up, up and away.
It was slightly weird for me, to be the friend that both turned to. Especially after being the person that E turned to about Evan. And after very little time of being stuck in the middle of this new scenario, it occurred to me that there were lots of things getting lost in translation between M and Evan.
At the start, M confided in me that Evan wanted to hang out all the time. When was she supposed to do her laundry? She couldn't get her life in order. They hung out Friday, he wanted to see her the next day, and again on Sunday... She worked overtime on weekends, she'd explain. "There's more to life than work," he'd respond. Followed by several silent seconds of puzzled stares.
But other than that things seemed to be OK. If she ever noticed a red flag, she'd forget it because for example, he'd send her a million roses on her birthday. And one night he texted her that he was falling in love with her. OK yes, a text, but still.....
Then our company sent Evan and I, among other producers, to a convention in San Antonio, Texas. Strange place, I'm not going to lie. It was about 115 degrees of dry heat. I didn't even know I was sweating until I looked down at the puddles that had collected in the creases of my elbows. It was so strange. And we were up at dawn and off to work at the convention to try to sell our product. We were delirious and exhausted by noon and yet we would stay until 7pm when the huge hall shut down finally.
At least I had my friend "Emy" with me. She is bubbly and funny. At every work dinner we got drunk and laughed. She too thought Evan was dreamy. It's like the girls just throw themselves at him- unbelievable. Really, I've never seen anything like it.
One night in Texas Evan went out drinking with some coworkers. I opted for sleep. But I got a late night call from him. I could hear the bar in the background.
"Don't you think it's weird?" he shouted over the din, "Don't you think it's strange that she doesn't want to spend more time with me? What kind of a relationship is that? I don't know what I'm doing... How often do you see your boyfriend?"
I brushed him off, told him he was too drunk, then got off the phone. I was a little weirded out, but our trip was over. We left Texas the next day. Like kids heading back after a field trip we were silent. Evan and I passed out on the car ride back to the airport. We snored. Our coworkers made fun of us.
On the flight home I had an empty seat next to me, that- right before takeoff- Evan jumped into. We talked about music. He gave me one of his earbuds and we listened to his playlist. I gave him half my granola bar.
Then we hit turbulence... for the entire ride. I'm not the best flier. At one rough point I cried hysterically and plopped my forehead on Evan's shoulder, dug my fingers into his arm. I have no idea why this made me feel better. We hit a bump and someone's soda can popped and flew across the cabin. I gasped loudly. The flight attendant patted my arm and told me I was being "very brave" which was really embarrassing. But the tears kept coming and I was holding my breath.
Evan put his arm around me and kept saying, "I said a prayer before we took off. And whenever I say a prayer, God takes care of me. And you're with me, so you'll be fine too." He let me squeeze his hand and he made little circles on my knee with his finger tips whispering, "shhhh... it's going to be ok... shhhh."
He made me laugh when he said nervously, "Isn't there medicine you can take for this kind of thing?" I smiled through my tears and wiped them away with my hands self-consciously and saw that my tears were black from mascara. I said, "Oh my gosh. I am such a mess." I grabbed for a tissue and Evan said with a renewed tone- a serious and subdued tone- "No you don't. You look great."
My heart stopped for a moment but not because of the airplane turbulence. This was a new turbulence. Like that false sense that something isn't a problem until you realize or acknowledge it's a problem. Know how that happens sometimes? It's why people say all that about ignorance and bliss.
The tears stopped momentarily with my head still on his shoulder. I didn't move because I was afraid that if I did he would feel me stir and he would know that I was onto something. So I didn't move but my mind was suddenly very distracted and alert as I started adding up sequences, scenes. And I became starkly aware that I had no safety net after all.
And I wondered, for the first time, how ugly was this crash going to be and who exactly was going to survive.
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