The Proust Questionnaire

Every month, Vanity Fair magazine gets a different celebrity to respond to the "Proust Questionnaire", found on the back page of each issue.  You can check out their collection at http://www.vanityfair.com/archives/features/proust.

Since I'll probably never be famous enough to appear in VF myself, I thought this week it would be fun to take a swing at it:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

The ability to spend most of my time with loved ones and attempt to make the world a better place.

2. What is your greatest fear?

That I wouldn't be around for my friends and family, especially my husband and my mom.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I can be incredibly apathetic and therefore lazy.  At times, I shouldn't be.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

When people are judgmental and/or unkind.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

Maybe my mom.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Never-ending cups of gourmet coffee.

7. What is your current state of mind?

Marital bliss.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Avoiding gambling.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

To spare people's feelings.

10. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My fat arms.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

Maybe Michael Moore.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Kindness.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Kindness.

14. Which worlds or phrases do you most overuse?

Whatev, OMG

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My mom, my husband, my dog-- not necessarily in that order

16. When and where were you happiest?

In graduate school.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

I'm a good dancer, but I'd love to be a great one.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Nothing.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I married a wonderful man.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what would it be?

I guess it would be interesting to come back as a man.

21. Where would you most like to live?

The Southeastern United States.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My teddy bear.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Being single.

24. What is your favorite occupation?

I heart doctors.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

I'm good with people.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

Their support and their ability to make me laugh.

27. Who are your favorite writers?

Tom Robbins.

28. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

I don't know, maybe Brutus.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I don't know, maybe Benjamin Franklin.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

My mom, my brother, Jennifer Garner, Sean Hannity

31. What are your favorite names?

Courtney, Henry, Morgan, Owen, Macy; I also like my name and my brother's name.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

People who unjustifiably think they are smarter and better than most others.

33. What is your greatest regret?

The way I treated a friend in 6th grade.

34. How would you like to die?

Peacefully, at a very old age, at the same time as my husband.

35. What is your motto?

Something along the lines of, you gotta be in it to win it.

Multi Level - Big Money? No. Big Scam? Yes.

I usually don’t do much complaining in these blogs. So, just as a heads up…this one is a big rant.

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the regularity in which one of my friends, or someone I know, will approach me approximately once a year and ask me if I want to work underneath them for this “great new company” they just started working for. The pitch is always the same…they tell me how they recently started working for this great company that sells an amazing product such as: cell phone service, makeup, facial cream, candles, vitamin supplements, etc. They commonly say something to the effect of, “this is a really great opportunity for you to work for yourself and make a lot of money. All you have to do is pay $500 upfront to get the kit/product/etc. which will get you started. But even if you can’t work for me, you should still consider purchasing the product that we are selling. If you work for me and then you can get five people to work for you, you will easily make your money back.”

I think that the majority of people have seen some version of this pyramid scheme in the past but I cannot believe how many people I know who fall for it without even realizing what they are getting themselves into. I have a very difficult time believing that the people who get involved in these types of pyramid schemes don’t have a previous understanding of what they are getting themselves into. Based upon the previous statement I have come to two conclusions:

1 – The lure of riches and the possibility of working for oneself are so appealing that individuals are willing to act against their better judgment when presented with such an opportunity.

2 – Once the individuals are involved and they have put a lot of time and effort into trying to make money, they are unwilling to admit that they really have been conned and been caught up in a big scam.

These pyramid schemes (in sheep’s clothing) aka multi-level marketing, network marketing, referral outreach, etc outrage me beyond belief! The reason why I get so deeply upset is because the individuals who are running the entire operation usually make a very significant amount of money with the knowledge that the entrepreneurial dream of the “slaves” they are using to build their pyramid will never come to fruition. I’ve heard the saying ‘there is a sucker born every minute’ and for the most part, I do agree. However, there is still something fundamentally wrong with preying on people’s emotions, dreams, and desires in order to make money. The sad thing is that the majority of the people who join these programs usually don’t have the excess money necessary to get started in one of these companies. They will come up with the necessary $500-$1,000 it usually costs to join. On average only 1 out of every 10 people actually succeed in these types of companies. The people at the top know this is going to happen. They are making money because the people at the bottom pay this start-up fee (non-refundable) and then never succeed selling the product.

I almost wish I could take all these types of individuals in large, empty swimming pools and then pour large suitcases of cash on top of them, and then inform them that they could not leave. Maybe this would make their choice a little more obvious. Ok, that is an extreme statement. But the way I feel is that essentially these individuals have the opportunity to rot now with a fortune OR they can get out of the pool and leave the money behind in search for a deeper meaning in life. They may have built wealth for themselves, but at what cost? How many people’s dreams have you had to crush and capitalize on in order to get there?

I have not gotten involved in any type of organization like this but I know many of my friends and family members who have. The turnout is never good. They may be successful for a short period of time, but eventually the pyramid begins to crumble and people get hurt in the process.

A Call to Arms

An old friend once posited, upon my return from studying abroad in Florence, Italy: 

"Ever notice how Italians dress really well, but they wear the same things every day?"

I concur.  Italians have impeccable style.  From the old men in their felt hats and leather-collared jackets, walking up the hilly streets of Florence, to the posh, red-lipstick women in Milan-- these people look good.  They look interesting and refined.  They look crisp yet antiqued.  Their fabrics seem richer, hues- deeper, textures- more touchable.  

Though I lived in a suburb of Florence, and though I lived in an apartment with real-life Italian neighbors, I didn't know any natives well enough to realize whether or not they wore the same things.  But it is pretty clear from just a stroll down the street, that Italians make a beautiful picture.

In my Italian language class at the University of Florence, our teacher read to us a list of things that Italians commonly believe to be American characteristics.  Among them:  all Americans walk around with guns, Americans are fat, and Americans are bad dressers.

Admittedly, I went to Italy with a suitcase full of Gap jeans and t-shirts.  But while I was there I stocked up on some of the nicest pieces I've ever owned-- sun dresses, a white linen suit, flowery blouses, an a-line khaki skirt, a wool shawl-- clothes I still have and wear to this day (my trip was in 2001).  Before I returned home, I filled the dumpster outside my apartment on Via Pompeo Neri, with all the Gap clothes I'd brought.

I look around a lot.  I like to watch people- even if it's just for the few minutes it takes me to walk to the subway.  One of the reasons I love New York City is because of all the different styles that people dare to traipse in.  

But lately, I've been noticing New Yorkers are looking... drab.  And maybe it's all in my head, but I'm thinking it has everything to do with the economy.  

I'm noticing lots of fading dye jobs-- lots of roots coming in.  Lots of old, ill-fitting old winter coats and mis-matched hats and gloves.  I'm noticing more than the usual two purses per woman- now I'm noticing many women with four!  And they're all ratty- lunch bags and plastic bags and pleather purses with the stitching coming undone...

I'm not judging others.  I've been feeling drab lately too.  I feel kinda bummed that a new jacket, new boots, scarf are not in my near future.  I can see the disappointment wearing on my appearance. I've got tired eyes, and disheveled hair-- I carry 18 Tupperwares to work every day, so that's two extra bags right there.

Look, the economy's rotten, the forecast is rotten, and right now the future looks foggy and dim.  But I'm writing on this fine Wednesday to say, to suggest, that we as Americans use this downturn as an opportunity to improve our moods and possibly sunny our horizons, and in the process, change global perception of American fashion.

We should not do what all those quick fashion segments on the Today show tell us we can cheaply do and should do to "still look great, even during a bad economy"- go to Target and buy trends for pennies.  Do not do this.  Do not go to Kohls and buy the Vera Wang line of acrylic blend blouses (even though I think Vera is a great designer, and a great woman). 

     

With our moods plummeting, now is not the time to buy clothes that will unravel or pill or stretch after just a few washes.  Now is not the time to buy vinyl pumps.  Now isn't the time for fly-by-night trends that are easily gotten and easily forgotten.  

Now is the time to dig into our deep, American closets and find the splurges from years past-- find and wear the purchases we made when we weren't sad or scared.  

We should wear a great dress to work, wear wide-leg slacks to go shopping, wear a ruffle blouse to walk the dog.  What are you saving those things for?  Don't hide your love away!  You should do things to feel great when times are tough.  Just like our pioneer women heritage- we are a strong breed!  What would our forefathers have wanted us to do?? Think of it as an act of patriotism- our civic duty!  We should rise to the occasion!  Do you think Coco Chanel would have worn sneakers and jeans to work during the war, during poverty, during her heartbreaks?  No!!  She didn't!  She made fashionable, cutting edge hats by hand and wore them!  OK, Coco's not an American example, but still.  She's great inspiration.

So we dig up our good china, and we should take care of it.  Hand wash and dry clean and line dry.  

And if we are to replenish our wardrobe, we should look for things that are 100%.  One hundred percent cotton, wool, linen, silk.  Look for quality fabrics- nothing see-through unless it's meant to be layered; no plastic woven into the seems.  We should look for things made by artisans, preferably not on an assembly line, preferably made by hand, "fatto a mano," as the Italians say.  With attention to detail and craft.

And yes, this will cost more, but that's OK because we're simplifying.  We won't need a walk-in closet with revolving drawers and multiple racks.  That's not normal by global standards.  That's old-America.  This is new, shedding-our-bad-habits America.  Change!  Hope!  Remember?  

And it's OK to wear things more than once.  If it really is good quality, and if we really do care for it, it'll last our wear and tear.

So join me in this calling.  No more hiding behind the ephemeral razzle dazzle of pastel plastic jewelry.  We are shedding our made-in-China skins.  We are new America.

 

  

    

  

  

   

It had to be you

I am writing this entry in advance this week because HusbandTuesday, yes, that's right, and I will be departing on Monday for our honeymoon. With that in mind, I will keep this week's blog short, sweet, and to the point.

Husband Tuesday and I were married this past weekend, and I have to say, honestly, that things went just about as well as they possibly could have. Sure, the weather was kind of cold, and sure, we forgot a couple of pictures and had a couple relatives that no-showed at the last minute. But even sitting here, replaying the day in my mind. there are very few things I would change. And, because mommaTuesday is a reader of this blog, I must give her a heartfelt shout out for EVERYTHING she did to make the day possible. And that goes far, far beyond just cutting the check.

I wish more of my friends were regular readers of this blog, because all I can really say this evening as I sit here packing my bags is how truly grateful both HusbandTuesday and I are for the deep bonds of friendship we have forged over the years, and the truly spectacular network of friends and family that we found ourselves surrounded by yesterday afternoon and evening. I could not have asked for a more touching, intimate, and personal evening with loved ones, and I cannot wait to watch our married lives blossom and grow in with the nurturing love and support of such a fine network of friends.

Spring Forward

I don’t know how the rest of you feel about the Fed’s decision to move up the spring forward date (perhaps, maybe, the thought “what *don’t* they have control over, anymore??” comes to mind…), but I LOVE it. I’ve never really care much for spring forward before, not that I’ve ever had a passionate opinion on the subject. In my mind it’s known only as the Sunday where I lose an hour of my day. And there’s not much I hate more than losing any part of a weekend (cold oatmeal and all-day wedgies are the only things that come to mind right off the bat). But this year, I’ve had a new experience. I love spring. And I loved springing forward earlier.

I wouldn’t say that spring is my favorite season (that honor is held by summer and followed closely by fall), but it is my most-looked-forward-to season. I don’t know if I technically have Seasonal Affective Disorder, but for the last 10 years or so, I’ve had a really hard time with winter. Once the holidays are over about the only thing I can find the energy to do is shower (mmmm, warm….) and watch TV (which does not require all that much extra energy). FOR THREE MONTHS. I barely do anything: enough laundry to get by, enough cleaning so that my mother won’t freak when she comes to visit, and enough socializing so that my friends don’t forget that I exist. But with the earlier spring forward this year coinciding with a weekend of 70 degree weather here, I immediately felt my spirits lift in such a way I haven’t felt (so immediately) before. And it didn’t take spending a week at the beach (although that did help put me in the mood).

That first Sunday I found myself already moving ahead with implementing my warm weather routine. Subconsciously suppertime changed from 6 to 8:30, I had the energy to do the dishes (wow!), I called people I hadn’t talked to since October, planned enough things to occupy myself until the end of the summer, and took up running. Yep, you heard me. All it took was for it to be light one extra hour in the evening, and I took up a new sport. I have no idea what’s come over me, but I’ve run all but about 3 days since then. I love SPRING me. She’s happier, has more energy, isn’t so rushed, and still manages to get to bed by 10.

I will offer this one piece of advice for those of you who are embracing your new spring selves: don’t skip lunch, go for a 4 mile run, then drink a margarita while you wait on supper. That’s the number one way to guarantee you’ll burn whatever you’re cooking, give up, and fall asleep on the couch. Before 8.