Tuesday, March 10, 2009

T-minus 11. . .

This week’s topic is particularly fitting. The soon-to-be-Husband-Tuesday will become the actual HusbandTuesday in less than two weeks. For the past eleven months, our lives have been driven by the countless details that go in to planning a wedding. I have a spreadsheet with flower details, ceremony timelines, photography timelines, reception timelines, menu choices, rehearsal dinner guest lists, wedding guest lists, vendor information, registry checklists, thank you note records. The number of tabs on that sheet is inversely proportional to the actual usefulness of the document. But it’s the one thing that I have clung to in planning for the day (and was a strong recommendation by GirlFriday).

We spent the weekend finalizing all the last-minute details. MomTuesday, DaddyTuesday and I picked up my wedding dress on Saturday morning, soon-to-be-Husband-Tuesday and I had a last minute meeting with a videographer who we hired in the final days because his Grandmother can no longer make the journey to middle-America for our wedding; we wrapped wedding party gifts; we alphabetized placecards; We applied for our marriage license yesterday morning bright and early; MomTuesday is finalizing details with the remaining vendors this week; we’re basically ready.

While there are still details to attend to (like remembering to pick up the actual marriage license. . . ) these next two weeks are a welcomed relief—because as the planning comes to an end, we can finally look forward to the important part of marriage—becoming our own family.

I’m not talking about popping out children right away. Heaven knows that’s not in the cards for either of us right now. It’s so far off our radar at the moment, it’s actually kinda funny. We’re looking forward to the phase of life my parents fondly refer to as “B.C.”—before children. We’re hoping to travel, buy a home, allow us both to find more direction in our careers, and settle in to our adult lives together a bit more before taking any serious step towards making this a family of three. But it’s something we’ve started chatting about in the last few years, and it’s something we know we will talk about more as the years as Mr.andMrs.Tuesday slip swiftly by.

Planning a wedding with your parents teaches you a lot about family. For example, no matter how hard you try to plan, or how many lists you make, one of you will inevitably think of something you’d forgotten right around the time you thought you’d crossed everything off the list. Expect this. Breathe deeply. Remember why you love them, try not to yell, and apologize if and when you do. Further, planning a wedding makes you realize that children don’t always understand the crazy, unconditional way in which parents love them. They may act like their folks are hyper-emotional or even dorky; but if they shy away or treat you like you’re stupid, it may just be that parent and child deal with the same emotion in very different ways.

Finally, planning a wedding makes you realize just how deep and loyal the bonds of family run. Whether it be an uncle from across the country, a sibling attempting a trip from the pacific coast, or a cousin playing chauffer to your mutual grandparent, the sacrifices that I have watched our families make over the past eleven months remind me of how fortunate we both are to be surrounded by such love. And it makes me hopeful of what our life can become following in that example.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mom Tuesday wishes you the joy of sharing as wonderful a relationship with YOUR kids as we have had with ours. :)