Marital Advice

I have learned some valuable lessons over the last (married) year. One being, that shopping is a whole new ball game once you get married.

When I was single, I will be the first to admit that I was NOT good with my finances. I would buy clothes/expensive makeup as I pleased, I never really saved or budgeted, and typically just lived paycheck-to-paycheck. It never really bothered me, and I didn’t think too much about saving for the future.

Once I met my future husband, he started to show me ways that I could save my money. Little things started to add up. For example, when I went to the grocery store, I would buy the generic brand of food instead of the more expensive brand. Rarely could you really tell a difference, and it usually saved us at least $10-$20 per trip. I limited the number of lattes I was buying each week. I took a look at the things I was spending on and tried to decide if it was something I really needed or just wanted. This doesn’t seem like much, but when you are doing lots of little things like this to cut back on your spending it can really start to add up!

During this time, I also opened a Roth IRA. I started putting away just $100/month into the account. It might not seem like a lot now, but this was during my undergrad years. $100 was a lot to me back then! But, future HThursday showed me the power of compact interest and how much it would help me in the future if I started saving young.

Overall, I cut back significantly on my spending. However, it can be hard to stop buying things once you get into that habit! There were times at the beginning of our relationship that I would tell a little white lie about the amounts I had actually purchased, or if he noticed a new pair of jeans I would just say I found them in the back of my closet, etc. We didn’t have a shared bank account at that time, so I could get away with these little fibs.

Everything changed once we got married. We combined our expenses and no longer could I hide the occasional “secret” purchases I had been making!! :) Not that I had a lot, but having a shared bank account made me accountable for all the “little” purchases I make that add up (coffee here, Walmart trip there, etc). It was definitely something we had to work at those first few months. I realized that it wasn’t necessarily the spending the HThursday would get frustrated with, but rather, it was spending and not letting him know that he didn’t like. Previously, I always had the “better not to ask and beg forgiveness” mentality. I would purchase as I pleased and let him know later on. I’ve realized that if I just run it by him, and let him know that I am doing the purchasing, things are so much better. What I failed to realize was that he wasn’t telling me NOT to make the purchase. He was just frustrated when he wasn’t aware of the purchasing that was going on in our account.

So, to share a little marriage wisdom…it is always better to be upfront about your purchases when you have a combined account. By changing a few small habits in my spending it has avoided so many unnecessary arguments.