Forever 21? Target!

I’m feeling a little passionate about a subject this week, so I’m stretching our topic so I can include it. Oh, and I’m sorry for the missing blog post last Monday. It just wasn’t going to happen. The Man’s got me down.

Anyway, I went shopping over the weekend. And not just any trip, a trip to the far reaches of the back of my memory. I used to live outside the South. I know, it’s hard to believe (and it’s really not technically outside the South, but trust me, it is. Kind of like living in Miami. Hot – check. Humid – check. Sweet tea abundance – nope. NOT THE SOUTH). Anyway, it was a great time in my life, and I had great friends who I miss a lot. So I went back for the weekend to attend the engagement party of one of my group’s central members.

It was a lot like going shopping in the back of my mind. Trying desperately to find that connection with people that I definitely connected with almost six years ago. But six years is a long time and people change. I know I’ve changed. It was probably the most confusing, frustrating shopping adventure I’ve ever been on (even more so than the time DaddyMonday and I got really lost getting to the Mall of America…). It felt a lot like that scenario where you finally find time in your schedule to do a little shopping and you need some things (as opposed to situations where you have to run into, say, Target for toothpaste and come out with jeans, a new bathing suit, a hair straightener, furry socks, two birthday cards, pink towels, and an $8 magazine) only you spend 3 hours walking around the mall and for once can’t find anything. And it’s doubly frustrating because for once you WANT to spend some money.

That’s how I felt. I wanted to make that connection all over again with these friends, but I couldn’t find it. I tried soooo hard, but with every store I went into I was coming up empty. I wanted badly to recreate the memories of 2001-2003, but it seemed like we’d all moved on to different places in our lives/careers/family, been affected by past injustices against each other, and changed personalities and priorities. Even my favorite, let’s call her Forever21, let me down. She just seemed sad and confused, and not the cheerful girl I remember. I wanted to help, and I still am always there for her, but we aren’t as close as we used to be, and I know she won’t ever reach out to me.

So as it turns out, maybe we weren’t the great pals I thought we were. Maybe I just needed them to fill a void at that time in my life, but they’re not truly the close friends I’ll have as part of my life always. Like Forever 21. A passing fad.

Anyway, this all leads me to what I’m really dying to say.

Dear Grad School Friends,

You are quite possibly the best people I know. You are all funny and smart, and most of all you care about making the world a better place to live. None of you are pretentious or over-bearing or self-satisfying. You know how to talk to anyone, in any situation, at any time. You never think you’re too good for someone (evidenced by the fact that you’re friends with me). You call when you say you will. You visit when you say you will. You always play a wonderful host when I see you. You write thank you notes and make thank you calls. You call just out of the blue to see how I’m doing. You give me high-fives (and you give yourselves high fives). You can all take a joke or a criticism, however intended or unintended it is. You ask about MommaMonday and DaddyMonday and ElwoodieMonday. And seem to genuinely want to know how they’re doing. But most of all you forgive my faults and see past my bad days. I know I am far from a perfect person, but you all know you are not perfect either. And you’re not trying to be or worse trying to pretend you are. You have cute kids, and well-behaved dogs, and nice husbands or wives, and generous families. And I miss you all so much, especially after I got to have dinner with one (okay 3!) of you before my big event Saturday night.

So I wanted to use today to say thank you. You’re the perfect store to shop in. You’re the Target of friends. And I love you all.